Three steps to more housework help and less stress

I'm going to share a secret with you today.

I don't know why it is a secret... but it seems to be.

Are you tired of never having anyone want to help you with the housework?

Are you frustrated with the lack of attention to detail your family members have when they do help?

I know all too well that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I see a child of mine folding towels. It seems very similar to the feeling a friend of mine gets when she sees her husband loading the dishwasher.

We've told them how time and again, and yet they still won't do it right! WHY!?!

There is a solution to this. It's a simple one, although it is more difficult than it sounds.

Are you ready? Here it is...

Step ONE... Stop it.

No, really. That's all. Stop it.

Stop caring how your kids fold the towels. Stop caring how the dishes get loaded into the dishwasher.
Stop griping and mumbling and complaining about how you are the only one who ever does anything the right way at this house.

You have a life, and a busy one at that. There will be time for perfectly folded towels and hand washed dishes when you don't have kids around anymore. Whatever gets done now, however wrong you think it is... is still a blessing to your family!

I Corinthians 13:1 says "If you have all these things, but you have not love, you are only a clanging cymbal."  When you complain, nobody says, "I need to learn how to do this better." They say, "She is so picky. There is no pleasing her, so I'm going to try half as hard next time."

Learning not to care is easier said than done, but it does work. Nobody at my house complains about folding towels anymore... and as they've done it more, they've gotten better at it!

Step TWO... Be appreciative.

Yes, I know it is their house too and they are contributing as part of the team... but appreciation is one of the best forms of encouragement. Whether it be your husband, your child, or a helpful extended family member or friend, say "Thank you!" and mean it!

There are lots of ways to be appreciative. Have you told your husband lately how sexy he looks running the vacuum cleaner? Have you finished a round of chores as a family, looked at the kids and said, "You know what? I think we all deserve some ice cream!" even though they fought you all the way through? Stick to the positive reinforcement. It makes a difference!

Step THREE... Call us.

Oh, come on... you had to know that one was coming, right? If the first two don't work for you, the last one will absolutely do the trick. Hire A Housewife is here to do all the things you want done and want done correctly. That might mean dusting and vacuuming or it might mean laundry or dishes. Maybe you'll want someone to sweep out the garage or get dinner started one night a week. Or, maybe, you crave streak-free windows... Whatever it is, we'll handle it.

If we don't hear from you, we'll assume the first two worked. :-)

Stop believing the lies

I wrote a very long comment on WCIC's blog post about decluttering and then realized that I should turn it into a post of my own. Here it is, slightly edited.

Every week I meet new overwhelmed clients who have hired me to walk through their home with them and teach them how to conquer their clutter. I break everything down for them into baby steps and teach them how to get through it themselves.

Every time, I learn the build-up has much less to do with the stuff... and much more to do with
what's going on inside the person I'm there to help. 

Decluttering is amazingly freeing, but you will need to do it all again and again if you don't figure out your whys. In business, your "why" is the reason you do what you do. In clutter, your whys are the lies you tell yourself to make you think keeping the stuff is worth it.

Have you heard some of these before?

I should get rid of this but...
... it was so expensive it would be wasteful to get rid of it.
... someone else might be able to use it.
... I might need it again someday.
... my friend who gave it to me would be upset if she knew I didn't keep it.

And those are just the little lies.

Underlying those are much bigger lies... many of which we don't even realize we believe.

God isn't really my provider.
         (If He was, why would you save so much for "just in case?")
This is how I've always lived. I can't change.
          (How many times a week do you say that to yourself?)
We can't have nice things.
          (If you believe that, you'll make sure it's true.)

I could do a whole book on the lies we tell ourselves if I got started!

The power of life and death is in the tongue and faith comes by hearing. Put those verses together and it tells you that faith is voice activated! What you hear yourself say, you will believe. Say these things to yourself out loud today any time you think about any of those lies:

     I can learn to be organized. I don't need so much stuff.

     I deserve to live with the peace of mind that comes from a clean and organized house.

     God is my provider and I don't need to fret about what I may or may not need in the future.

     God is going to use my decluttering to bless others!

Not sure how that last one is possible? Read on...

As I was helping a client a few months ago through our "Love Where You Live" program, we came across a stack of pants. Brand new, with tags, in a size that the client never intends to wear again and is not a common size to begin with.

There were a lot of lies she could have told herself to make herself keep them. "They were expensive, maybe it isn't too late to return them." or "I might come across someone who can use them." or any number of others.

Instead she chose to donate them, along with a lot of other clothes. As I was driving the bags to Redeemer Lutheran to donate to Single Mom's Morning Out, I remembered the pants and started to tear up. It just hit me.

I don't know what single mom out there needed nice work slacks in a size 18 Tall, but God had already provided them and she had no idea that they were waiting for her that morning. Because one person didn't believe the lies, another person received a blessing.

Stop believing the lies that are holding you back!

You CAN Love Where You Live!

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
~Proverbs 23:7